I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
