Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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