Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
