There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize