:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
