So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I need a burrito and a hug.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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