My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
