I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
