I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
