Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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