Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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