Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Randomize
