I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
