I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
