Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
