So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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