In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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