we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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