I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
someone owes me an orgasm
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
