My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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