I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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