I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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