it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
