I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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