is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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