She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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