Please, let me fuck your mom
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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