it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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