In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
