when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Come share oat with me in your robe
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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