Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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