Define "chronic" masturbator.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
