She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
