Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
