oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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