The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
