he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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