she woke up with a sticky ear
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
