Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
