OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
