i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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