Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
