He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
