I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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