You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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