is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
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Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize