do herpes really smell.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
