Small penises have feelings too.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
