Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
