who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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