Define "chronic" masturbator.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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