My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My feet surprised me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
