I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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