we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
