i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
