you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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