i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
