I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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