We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
