Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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