Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
